Tuesday, May 30, 2006

The Assignment - the journey is as important as the result

Today I received my assignment back from Bible College. It was a good feeling to know that I had passed - a B! - but in some ways the feeling I had when I handed the assignment in to be marked was just as important for me.

I found the writing of the assignment incredibly difficult - not because of the topic or the lecturer, but because I had to face some "ghosts" from the past.

For lots of reasons high school was not "the best years of my life" and I left at the end of 5th form glad to be gone from the place and glad to be earning an income. I did leave however, not feeling that I had achieved academically and with echoes of very negative comments from teachers and classmates alike.

So to undertake a subject at Bible College this year has been very risky for me and has definitely been outside my comfort zone. I decided to take it as a credit course (which means I sit the tests, do the assignments and the exam at the end of the semester) rather than do it as an audit course (where you just go to the lectures and get a copy of the notes) because I knew I wouldn't put as much time into it or be as dedicated in my study if I didn't have to have my learning examined.

Many times I wished I had only done it as an audit course, especially when it came to the assignment. I wrote, rewrote, deleted, altered, rewrote again, and agonised over whether I had written intelligently or not. Thank you Alastair, Janette Busch, Amy and Warwick for patiently letting me "pick your brains" on writing assignments.

I have had a tendency in the past if I felt something was too difficult to just give up, and the temptation to do that again was very strong, yet all the time I knew that doing Bible College is part of God's preparing and equipping me for both now and the future and I knew that there were lessons I was learning about persevering, persistence and prayer that was as important to learn as the life of Abraham.

There was also the not wanting to let my family down, both Alastair and the children have sacrificed much so that I could make this dream happen - and they have also had to put up with a stressed mother!

So to finally hand in a completed assignment was a major milestone for me - but it is not over yet - the exam is yet to come!!

I also have a lot more respect for those who are studying full time at Bible College!

Thursday, May 25, 2006

A definition of frustration

Frustration is when you wait impatiently for your old, "how much longer before this collapses" clothesline to be replaced by a new duo plus folding clothesline, only to have it rain for the next three days - and then the first day it is fine you are running late for work and haven't got time to hang the washing out. To top it off the forecast is for rain tomorrow! Aaaaaaagh!

Monday, May 08, 2006

An exciting week ahead

This morning I begin a live-in course for 5 days, training to become a State School Chaplain. This is a voluntary position for 4 hours a week, and is something I have been aware of God calling me to do for a long time.

It doesn't mean I am not nervous about it, wondering how I will cope, and because this is something I am doing in obedience to God I have this little voice that occasionally whispers "You'd better not let God down either!". I know where this comes from - and it is not from God.

I am trying not to go with any preconceived ideas, but rather I see this as an equipping week, a learning week, and a confirming week.

That fact that I don't have to cook meals for 5 days has nothing to do with my sense of excitement!