Heading towards Christmas

It’s been a funny sort of a week for me. There has been the gradual build up of Christmas excitement and anticipation, of looking forward to family get togethers on Christmas day – this year there is a sense of hope as we gather for lunch with extended family – hope because of a relative who last year was causing the family much pain, but this year is becoming well - joy because of a nephew’s decision to follow Christ and the positive changes in his life as a result, peace because of some honest sharing of the struggles and pain and turmoil gone through by another before they ceased striving to please someone who can never be pleased, putting boundaries in place to protect and reclaim their family life. And I musn’t forget the next generation – 3 gorgeous little boys who are going to give us all much fun and laughter as we see Christmas through their eyes.

There is another family gathering at night, this I think will have quite a different feel to it – much more laid back and relaxed, everybody a bit tired, so a time of talking and reminiscing.

And then 2 weeks holiday to look forward to, the 2nd week with Michael and Miriam, a time to be treasured and made the most of, before they head off overseas.

I went to 2 different BBQs 2 nights in a row. One was at the Community Cottage. It was so lovely. When I arrived there was someone on the porch playing a guitar, with a few singing, some sitting at tables enjoying the food, some cooking the last lot of meat, kids running round with their present from Santa, and lots of chatting going on. I realised at the end that I am getting to know a few people there, I don’t feel a stranger and it is nice just to be one of them, to be able to move amongst a few of them and chat with different groups. Some of them are wary of me – and I understand that too. Most of them are spending Christmas with family and whanau, but for a couple of them it is a lonely time. I went away feeling good for how much I have been accepted by those at the cottage but also with a tinge of sadness for those who aren’t looking forward to Christmas as much.

The second BBQ was different again. There were about 12 – 14 people there. What do you say to someone who has just had to shift because their partner has called it quits after 21 years of marriage. I can’t believe I was so stupid. The look of pain and tiredness on their face shook me up and as they greeted me I blurted out the first thing in my head “Merry Christmas”. How dumb is that! About the only worse thing I could’ve said was “Cheer Up!” It was a very poignant evening really – people offering support in practical ways and all the time in amongst the ordinary conversation was this unspoken question sitting there - how are they really doing, what happens when we all leave? The thing that really got me was the dog. It was sitting on the couch and all of a sudden just rested his head on their shoulder as if it sensed exactly what the person was going through. That memory will stay with me for a long time.

I wonder if for other people there is also this pulling of emotions two ways – the excitement, and build up of Christmas versus the awareness of pain, sadness, loneliness and even anger being experienced by others at this time?